The Bey-Z Baby Simile Issue
                If Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercials have taught us anything, it is that when you combine two independently brilliant and scrumptious items together you get Blue Ivy Carter.....that’s a little weird. Step aside inventors of the Snuggie....not enough.  Like the formidable combination that lead to Killer Whales....again, too weird. You see, the Disney, Pixar union produced Up....not really the same thing. Not unlike a Ring Pop....nope.

The Jan. 7 birth of Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z’s daughter Blue Ivy Carter is about the best thing to happen since Ice Cream Cake. Welcome to the world child of incredible genes.

Pre-College Price Tag
                A secondary education in this country has become mandatory in order to avoid holding up a bank to pay for your second by-pass surgery (pre-existing condition); the Clink just might be an alternative as our government spends thrice more per inmate than student. Well, I, for one, would not do well in prison, which at the moment requires applying for college. For seniors finally waking up from the application induced nightmare, you have weathered a storm my friends. And while you have yet to set foot on campus, you’re already around $500 in the hole.
Here is your receipt, what you not just paid in tears, skip days, time spent cutting supplements to fit that 1000 character mark and surfing college browser.
Take the SAT/ Subject tests- $50-$100
Take the ACT- free the first time, $50 the second.
(Average students will take one of the above tests at least twice)
Send six colleges SAT scores- $120
Send your ACT scores- $120
The application fee for U of O- $50 (You got in!)
The application fee for Stanford- $90 (You will not get in)
Optional: Visiting the school for interview/ tour: $40-$1800
Vitamin D tablets- $8.99 (for seasonal/internal assessment/death of Amy Winehouse/Why did I think grades sophomore year didn’t matter?!/Tim Riggins isn’t real, induced depression)

Jesus gets a leg up
                I will be turning 18 soon, and if money weren’t an issue, would be getting a portrait of Jesus on my calf rolling his eyes … and if I had a Tumblr called “Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber” dedicated to me. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has a right to express her beliefs, I just think it’s ironic the parallel that can be drawn along the lines of the evangelical singer’s devotion to Christ, and the Belieber’s devotion to him.

Can Romney top the Newt?
                Newt Gingrich may have outlasted the earlier characters of the Republican race but his ego, stance on child labor and flexibility with monogamy (whilst criticizing Bill Clinton) will not appeal to enough radical Republicans to outnumber Romney’s moderates.

Temple Run
                For those of us who still have not hopped on the iPhone bandwagon, I would like to issue a complaint to the rest of you for ignoring us during conversations, constantly updating us on your new high score, talking about your avatar like it’s a real person, complaining about your early on-set arthritis in your thumbs, and not sharing your iPhone so we might also play Temple Run.

My predictions on the Oscars
Best Picture: Who should win: "Midnight in Paris". Who will win: “The Descendants”.
Best Actor: Who should win: Ryan Gosling, “Drive”, but really for “Crazy Stupid Love”. I could also live with Gary Oldman "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy". Who will win: Jean Dujardin in "The Artist"
Best Actress: Who should win: Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn”. Who will win: Meryl Streep in....like it matters
Supporting Actor/Actress: Who should win: Albert Brooks in "Drive" and Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids". Who will win: Albert Brooks in "Drive" and Shailene Woodley in "The Descendants."
Animated Feature: Who should win: “The Adventures of Tin-Tin.” Who will win: “Rango.”