Forty days. Forty days since shock spread through the student body, as two of our peers were gone. In the days following the deaths, grief was expressed by many taking advantage of the counselors waiting in the library. Two days for every student to convey their disbelief of what had taken place. For most, two days was not enough.

As time passes, no one forgets what happened and for some, reality is just sinking in.

“Real, intense grief comes after the shock in the beginning,” said Rhonda Mammen, coordinator of counseling for Springfield Public Schools. “A person’s true inner feelings come 30 to 60 days after the accident.”

Now is the typical time when true grief will affect students, and it is imperative that our peers know how to recognize the signs and, more importantly, who to talk to when you see the signs in yourself or a friend.

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss psychiatrist, there are five stages of grief. A person experiencing a traumatic event will, according to Kubler-Ross, go through at least two of the steps without necessarily following this order.

The first stage, denial, is the phase in which people have a great amount of trouble in believing that the event actually happened.

The second stage, anger, is often one trickier than the previous phase. This is when you start to question why the loved one was taken.

The third stage, bargaining, occurs when you try to deal with your pain by either attempting to alter what happened or trying to change your perceptions.

The fourth stage, depression, is perhaps the trickiest of the phases, since this ends up being the stage in which the average person begins to cycle through the first four phases. Unfortunately, this makes it more difficult for a person to progress to the final stage.

The fifth and final stage, acceptance, is the hardest to attain. This stage comes when the person achieves closure and acknowledges that the loved one can’t come back, no matter how much one wishes it were otherwise.

If you recognize any of the symptoms listed above in yourself or a friend, don’t hesitate to seek help. The first resource is Matthew Bowers, the school-based clinician. He is available at all times during the school day. Burrell Behavioral Health can be reached 24 hours a day by calling 417-862-6555. The Center City Counseling Clinic is also available at 417-836-8876.