MTV’s “Jersey Shore” has been described as the show that captures our generation. So I ask, how does filming eight good-looking-20-something-year-old Italian-Americans with a combined IQ of less than 500 as they go to clubs, drink, work easy and uninteresting jobs, and by some miracle manage to breathe oxygen capture the generation you and I are a part of?

   First of all, let me just state that I believe this claim to be completely false; at least I pray it is, because if it’s true I no longer have any hope for society. And, in a way, I consider it an insult.

   The premise of the show is to put eight Italian Americans in one Jersey Shore apartment, give them all jobs, and watch them as they slowly drift into the idiotic abyss of American pop culture.  

   The majority of this show revolves around three things: partying, sex and creating controversy.  To me, those three things alone do not represent our generation very well; I like to think we are above those sole three actions. When I think of our generation, I do not picture immoral and selfless individuals who dress up in obscene outfits and live like spoiled 12-year-olds. We do live in a technology-obsessed culture that is informal and impersonal, but I know we aren’t all as extreme as this show exemplifies.

   It is inconceivable that a show with such a stupid premise could actually rake out an average of 2.7 million viewers during its first season and an astonishing 5.2 million during the second season. 

   With the show being so popular, I was dragged into watching an episode of it at a friend’s house. As I watched, I could feel my brain decomposing in my head. It was the most wasteful hour ever spent in my whole life.

   The four idiotic apes that call themselves men on the show make up one of the saddest representations of American youth I’ve ever witnessed; MTV sure knows how to pick them. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, ex-exotic dancer and fitness center manager, and Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio, Rhode Island disc jockey, are just two examples of all-muscle, no-brain men the show selected. On the female side we have Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, a veterinarian technician that probably doesn’t know the difference between a dog’s head and butt, and New York City bartender Angelina “Jolie” Pavarnick.    

   But it’s not the cast’s professions, even though they are questionable, that make me feel so irate; it’s their behavior. I do not believe our generation should be known for the rude, derogative language they use to address each other, nor the selfish attitude they all carry. The men the show presents are all obsessed with sex and treat women like objects. The girls dress and act in ways that only show they don’t object to the insults. 

   Not only is the show itself ridiculous, but now there is a whole package that comes with it. This includes the constant quotes you hear whenever you go somewhere, like “GTL — Gym, Tanning, Laundry,” or the constant reference of grenades and land mines when talking about the size of women.

   Also, there is a whole line of lame merchandise that comes with the show. Let’s go download DJ Pauly D’s hit single “(It’s Time to) Beat Dat Beat,” or while we’re at it, we could also download “The Jersey Shore Soundtrack,” obviously the greatest summer playlist ever made. And if you have an iPhone, why not download  “The Situation — Official App.” If you’re into pointless literature, go buy “Gym, Tanning, Laundry: The Official Jersey Shore Quote Book.”  Last, why not top it all off with a bobble head of your favorite cast member? 

   The amount of money the cast has made is quite ludicrous and it just gets worse every day. They do nothing of value; they demonstrate no skill nor supply any service. They basically get paid to eat, drink, sleep and party, and to me, that doesn’t seem like very hard work. So the idea of them getting paid the price of my house for one episode makes me sick. On top of it all, they are now demanding more money to shoot more seasons and have gone as far as holding out for more cash — as if what they’ve already received from their merchandise and the first two seasons isn’t enough.  

   If this growing trend, if you could call it that, in support of meaningless shows doesn’t stop, we’ll see cast members carrying their own spin-off shows. MTV will be happy to have another pointless program that drives in viewers. We could soon be watching “Welcome to the Fabulous Life of Snooki,” and the idea of that alone pains me.

   This show became popular by endorsing misbehavior including partying, drinking and sex. It is a show based on a stupid premise and the cast members can’t even be considered actors.  Its extreme popularity is an embarrassment to society itself. And I find the fact that people are claiming this show represents us, our generation, strictly intolerable, as I hope you do too. I truly hope that in 20 years we won’t be remembered for drinking, obscenity, promiscuity and tanning.